First of all I'd like to say that I love cliffhangers like that, it's intriguing to think about whether or not the boy will find his father and if he will lose his life in the process. However, the logline is missing an antaganist, or at least some measure of what is causing risk. In a way this adds mystery to the logline, but it also seems annoying. That aside I would like to know what happens, so your logline definately accomplishes its job.
I would, however, use present tense instead of future... so it would be "desperate to find his father, GOES to great lengths..."
I think that the antagonist is implyed, and is more internal so i disagree with justin that you need to add one, maybe make that implied antagonist more clear though.
Caroline, I really liked your descriptive word choice in the beginning of your logline! I definently know what is at stake (his life), but what is the obstacle he must overcome? Sara
I love the cliffhanger and the idea of the story. I also like that the antagonist is not stated, it makes me want to find out what happens. I have nothing negative to say.
First of all I'd like to say that I love cliffhangers like that, it's intriguing to think about whether or not the boy will find his father and if he will lose his life in the process. However, the logline is missing an antaganist, or at least some measure of what is causing risk. In a way this adds mystery to the logline, but it also seems annoying. That aside I would like to know what happens, so your logline definately accomplishes its job.
ReplyDeleteGood Logline! I am very intrigued!
ReplyDeleteI would, however, use present tense instead of future... so it would be "desperate to find his father, GOES to great lengths..."
I think that the antagonist is implyed, and is more internal so i disagree with justin that you need to add one, maybe make that implied antagonist more clear though.
Everything else is great!
Caroline,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your descriptive word choice in the beginning of your logline! I definently know what is at stake (his life), but what is the obstacle he must overcome?
Sara
I love the cliffhanger and the idea of the story. I also like that the antagonist is not stated, it makes me want to find out what happens. I have nothing negative to say.
ReplyDelete